My SoCalled Life: Goes Back
by MayraLuz
Summary: Ten years after high school. Jordan is in LA with his band. Angela is a writer in NY. It’s in both Jordan’s and Angela’s point of view.
1. Chapter 1&2: Opposit Sides

Summary: Ten years after high school. Jordan is in LA with his band. Angela is a writer in NY. It's in both Jordan's and Angela's point of view.

Italics are thoughts

**Chapter 1**

Outside a fancy New York restaurant:

A woman is leaning against the restaurant wall. She is tall and slim, with long blond layered hair with bangs sweeping over her eyes. She is wearing a classic little black dress with heels. Her eyes are closed.

Angela Chase has always been the kind of person that over thinks. Some might say she analyzes things until they loss all meaning, but she wouldn't say that. Because to her being introspective is what makes her…her.

_Life is so ironic. I spent ten years trying so hard to forget high school, trying so hard to forget everything that happened, and trying so hard to forget the girl I was. I'm not saying high school was the horrible. It wasn't. There we a lot of amazing moments, but its hard to remember the great moments without remembering the bad ones. I keep wondering if there's a term for that. Anyways, so here I am 27 years old and the thing that has made me successful is a book. Not just any book, but a book about my so-called high school life. Life is so ironic!!!_

In the quite night, Angela hears footsteps coming behind her. And following that she hears the warm caring voice of her closest friend.

"**There you are!! Everyone has been asking for you!! What are you doing??"**

Angela's answer comes almost automatic, like she has answered that question a million times before.

"**I'm just thinking." **

_Adam is my editor. And also my best friend in New York. We met nine years ago when we were freshman at NYU._ _He is such a great friend. He reminds me a lot of Ricky. They are both so caring, loyal, and also gay. _

Adam is a short man. He is very average looking, but he is the kind of person that once you get to know you can't imagine your life without him in it and you wouldn't want to. In a jokingly voice he answers.

"**What's new!!! You are always thinking. You better come inside Miss. Best Selling Author. I don't know if anyone told you, but there is kinda a party going on in your honor. What's going on in that little blond head of yours tonight?"**

Angela stars at the ground, in an almost childish way. She quietly speaks without looking at her close friend.

"**Nothing new. I got a letter from Liberty High. It was an invitation for my 10 year reunion."**

In an overly excited voice, Adam states.

"**That sounds like fun!! When is it?"**

Angela lifts her eyes from the ground. She stares at her friend in a surprised and amused way.

"**Next month….But I'm not going!!!!"**

In an angry voice Adam screams at Angela.

"**What do you mean your not going??? You have this remarkable life you have to go and rub it in everyone's face. That's the only reason people ever go to those things."**

Taken aback by her friend's outburst. She places her hands on his shoulder as a way to clam him down before she gentle explains herself.

**I don't know…my life is not that great.**

Adam loses his frustration with his friend's decision and replaces it with honest kindness.

"**Are you kidding me!!! Let's recap what you have done since high school. You graduated with honors from NYU. You have written three novels. Your recent novel is on the New York's Best Sellers list, everyone has read it. You are on Oprah's reading list and television show. Oh, and don't forget the fact that you are drop dead gorgeous. I bet everyone else is still living at home, working a dead end job that they hate, and I bet they are all overweight and depressed. Angela you have to go…do it for me!!!"**

Angela can not help but smile at the kind words from her friend.

_Adam has always been good for my self esteem._

"**Fine……I'll go….If it means that much to you!!!"**

Angela hides a big smile.

**Chapter 2**

In Los Angeles

A very attractive man is setting on bed next to a window. The sunlight illuminates his face. It's Jordan. His hair is shorter. He looks a lot more put together, but still has that same edgy look. And of course, his eyes are as intense as always. As he finishes a book someone walks in.

Nonchalantly Jordan Catalano's oldest and best friend walks towards him. Soon Shane's causal demeanor transforms into sincere surprise.

"**Yo, Catalano!!...Are you reading???"**

Jordan speedily looks up towards his old friend and attempts to hide the book. He quickly realizes he's caught.

"**What??!!! No…..Kinda. It's just I heard about this book on some TV show and I wanted to see what it was about."**

_I hate when people that think they know you so well find you doing something that is like surprising, because then I have like this need to justify myself._

Shane walks over towards Jordan and takes the book out of Jordan's hands. He begins to examine the book's covers.

"**My So-Called Life by Angela Chase. Why does that name sound so familiar?"**

Shane turns to the back cover where he sees a picture of a beautiful Angela smiling from ear to ear. Finally realizing why that name rings a bell, Shane gives Jordan a sickened look.

"**Wait….That's the chick you were like obsessed with in high school!!"**

Jordan feels hurt and defensive toward his friend.

"**I wasn't obsessed!!!"**

_I'm such a liar!!!_

Shane rolls his eyes and throws the book back to Jordan as he continues to prove his argument that his dear friend Jordan Catalano was obsessed with said Angela Chase.

"**Whatever!!! She's the girl you spend most of high school with. Not to mention the fact that you would rather spend time with her than your boys. If I remember correctly, you almost didn't come to LA with the band because of her…."**

** FLASHBACK **

Ten years ago, graduation night. Angela and Jordan are still together. Angela and Jordan are planning to get an apartment in NY, while she goes to school and he works on his band. Everything was going well until Jordan finds out that a label is interested in them….But…. the label is in LA not NY. Jordan does not know what to do; he does not want to leave Angela, but it's a once in a lifetime opportunity to go to LA. So Jordan does what he does best: he starts to pull away from Angela. They are sitting in Jordan's car in complete silence.

Angela turns to face Jordan and in a worried and nervous state Angela decides to confront Jordan on his distantness.

"**Jordan…What's wrong??? You have been acting distant all week??"**

Jordon continues to stare at the steering wheel. He answers Angela in an almost whisper.

"**Nothing…everything is fine."**

_I have to tell her, but she just looks so beautiful. She's like glowing. I never knew it was like possible for a human being to glow, until I met Angela._

Moving her body towards Jordan, in a more aggressive manner Angela tries to talk to Jordan again.

"**JORDAN…God just talk to me!!!!"**

Continuing to stare at the steering wheel, Jordan takes a deep breath before he speaks.

"**Okay!!!!!!! Relax….a label is interested in signing the band……"**

A classic Angela hair tuck

Angela's face transforms from frustration to pure unadulterated happiness.

"**That's great!!!!! Why don't you seem happy???"**

Jordan's voice is slow and distressed. He continues to have his focus on the wheel like if he looks away, mainly if he looks at her, he will loss his way.

"**Because it's in Los Angeles….."**

Angela voice is first confused at his lack of joy, until she finally understands.

"_**Like**_** as in California?...But New York???"**

Jordan answers softly.

"**I Know……"**

Angela close to tears tries to clarify the situation.

"**So you're moving to LA….NOT NEW YORK….I don't know what to say….."**

In the midst of hearing Angela's confusion. Jordan thinks of what he wants Angela to say to him.

_Tell me not to go. Tell me you love me and need me._

Angela continues to ask questions.

"**When do you leave??"**

Jordan answers shots out like knives into Angela's young heart.

"**The Band leaves tomorrow."**

"**Tomorrow?? **

Jordan can not seem to express his heart's request out loud.

_Tell me not to go. Tell me you love me and need me._

Angela looks desperately at Jordan, hoping that he will say something anything to make the situation better. After waiting a few moments for his responds, she speaks.

" **I'm going to miss you!!"**

Jordan can't force himself to look at Angela, in an almost whisper and maybe holding back tears he response

"**Yah……"**

_Tell me not to go. Tell me you love me and need me. I'll listen. I'll stay._

Angela can't take Jordan's lack of emotion any longer. Shaking from holding back tears Angela runs out of his car.

"**Bye!!!"**

Jordan takes his attention from the wheel and turns to watch Angela depart. His face looks depressed because she didn't even try.

_Or Not….._

Quickly to himself he says goodbye to Angela and the life they had together.

"**Bye"**

He drives away…..

** End of Flash Back **

Shane snaps his fingers in front of Jordan's face in an attempt to bring him out of his thoughts.

"**Catalano!!!!" **

"**What????"**

"**You were like in another world or something."**

"**I was just thinking about high school…."**

_No…not about high school, but about Angela Chase. The only person that truly ever really meant anything to me and the only person that I ever meant anything to. I had girls before and after Angela, but none of them had her smile, or her eyes, or her sweet curiosity, or her laugh, or that way she always tucked her hair behind her ear. None of them could ever compare to Angela. I think that no one will ever compare to her…I don't know if that makes me happy or sad….._

"**Catalano!!! God what's up with you??? I haven't seen you this way since high school….Speaking of high school. We got an invitation to the ten year reunion."**

Jordan can not hide his enthusiasm over the event.

"**Really!!!!!!!! We should go!!!!"**

_I wonder if Angela is going to be there??_

Shane gives him a weird look.

Jordan revises his argument. He replaces the neediness in his voice with a much cooler tone

"**I mean…you know we are kinda like success stories, or whatever, it might be nice to rub it in everyone's face who thought we would never do anything with our lives. I mean that's the only reason people ever go to those kinds of things…."**

Jordan looks at him hopefully.

Shane gives Jordan a defeated and exhausted look.

"**Fine…..we'll go if it means that much to you."**

Jordan hides a big smile


	2. Chapter 3: Home is where the Heart Was

I don't own any of the characters…

Italics are thoughts

**Chapter 3**

Angela is in a taxi going to her old house. She is staring out the window with her thoughts elsewhere.

_God why am I doing this? How can a go back after writing such a personal book about my feelings on high school? Why do I have this like need to like write down every single thought and feeling that comes to mind? It only gets me in trouble…Like the time I wrote that long letter to Jordan and he found it…THAT WAS SO HUMILATING!!! Why did I write that book? What if he's here and he read the book…it's going to be just like high school all over again…I'm like a child that never learns the lesson the first time!! WAIT…what am I obsessing about? Jordan would never come to a lame high school reunion and he would especially never read a book for like pleasure. BUT…what is he's changed. Can people really every truly change? Have I truly changed or…_

The taxi driver's raspy voice pushes Angela back to reality.

"**Miss, we're here!!!"**

Angela looks at the driver some what frightened. She doesn't want to leave the cab to the life she left behind.

"**OH!!!! Already….that was fast…" **

The driver awkwardly answers Angela.

"**So……it's $10.85…."**

" **Right… keep the change…."**

Angela is standing in front of her childhood home. The place that was her safe house as a child now seems like a haunted house from a scary movie. A dark foreign place haunted with memories of her past life.

_My house. It doesn't even look like my house. It's been nine years since I last stood on these steps. It's not that I didn't want to come back. It just…you know that saying, "Home is where the heart is," while I felt like my home lost its heart. It was just too hard. When did something as simple as coming home become so complicated? It had to have been when my parents got divorced. I had just left home when I got the news. It just became like this competition for them when I came home. They measured who I loved more by with whom I spent more time with. It was just too hard. I always felt guilty. I wondered if I would have stayed home and went to school at Penn State like they wanted…maybe they would still be together…or maybe they would just be miserable… _

The door opens suddenly opens to reveal Patty hurrying out of the house.

"**Angela!!!! I though you were coming at eight!!!!"**

"**Yah!! Eight in the morning!!!"**

Patty places her brief case on the floor and hugs her eldest daughter.

"**I'm so happy that you're home!!! It's about time, I hate having to fly to New York to see you!!"**

Her mother's words ring in Angela's mind.

_Home, this isn't home, not anymore._

"**Were you leaving?????"**

"**Oh Sweetie. I'm so sorry. I thought you weren't coming until later; I have meetings scheduled all day…."**

Angela watches her mother explain herself, but can't seem to focus on her words only on her demeanors.

_She always has meetings scheduled all day. That's all she ever does now: work. I guess it's the only thing she has left. Now that Dad, Danielle, and I are gone…It's kinda depressing…no its not kinda depressing…it IS depressing. _

"**ANGELA, are you listening to me??? I swear you never pay attention to me!!!!"**

"**MOM!!! I'm listening. You have meetings…."**

"**Yes, I have meetings. So, I'm not going to be able to entertain you until I get back."**

Angela snorts at her mother's comments.

"**Entertain me, Mom!!! You're not a magician and I'm not a child. I can "entertain" myself."**

A once feisty Patty does not want to fight with her daughter and decides to just give up.

"**Fine. You're right and I'm late!!! I'll see you tonight."**

Angela notices that her mother has lost the will to fight that she once proudly possessed.

_She looks so SAD…I have to be the worst daughter in the world!!!!_

"**MOM!!!! I love you!!!"**

Patty's face lights up with those three words that she hadn't heard from anyone in a really long time.

"**I love you too!!"**

Angela goes into her old room. Everything is the same, but somehow everything is different. She can't put her finger on what is different. She sees a picture of her and Jordan at the Senior Prom. Memories of that night flood her mind.

** FLASHBACK **

Angela is wearing a simple, but elegant plaid gown –just kidding-- it's a black gown. Her red hair is up with curls. She looks gorgeous and confident. Jordan is wearing a tux without a tie. He looks messy like always, but it works. Needless to say he looks amazing. As Angela glides down the stairs, her eyes are only on Jordan and his eyes are only on her. They both share a lustful smile.

"**Hi!!"**

"**Hey!! You look beautiful!!!"**

Angela's whole body tingles with the complement from Jordan Catalano.

_It doesn't matter if the rest of the night is terrible. This moment will make it all worth it…_

Angela tucks her hair behind her ear.

"**Thanks!!! So do you….you know what I mean!!"**

Jordan wraps his arm around Angela's waist and looks at her like there's no one else in the room.

"**You ready to go????"**

"**Definitely!!!!"**

At the prom, they are in their own world. They are slow dancing; even through the song playing isn't meant for slow dancing. Angela is thinking with her eyes closed and a sweet smile on her face.

_I can not believe that I am at my senior prom with Jordan Catalano. If someone would have told me sophomore year that me and Jordan Catalano would be together for almost three years, I would have laughed in their face. And if they would have said that we still wouldn't have had sex…I would have died from laughter. It is so surreal that Jordan hasn't pressured me to have sex since the first time we broke up. I guess he learned his lesson. I guess he really cares about me. He has changed so much over the years: he actually goes to class, does his homework, remembers special days, makes plans, asks me how I am feeling, but most importantly he really talks to me!!! I know what love is and his name is Jordan Catalano!!! And tonight I will know what sex is… _

A small and knowing laugh subconsciously comes from Angela.

"**What's so funny?"**

"**Oh…did I laugh out loud? I was just thinking of something that's kinda funny."**

"**Ok. Do you mind telling the class what's so funny, Miss. Chase?"**

"**I was just thinking how much I want to have sex with you tonight!!!"**

_I can't believe I just said that!!! Too late to take it back, just go with it!!!_

Jordan is in complete shock and excitement. He stops dancing.

"**Really???? Because I don't want to you know pressure you, like last time. I want you to really want to, not just because I really want to."**

"**Jordan, I definitely want to. Tonight!!!!"**

Both of them give an excited anxious smile.

After the Prom. They drive to Jordan's house. It's quite and empty like always. His dad works nights. Jordan leads her to his room. They start to kiss passionately. As Jordan unzips her dress, he kisses her neck softly and whispers into her ear, **"I Love You, Angela Chase." **With those five words, all the concerns Angela had disappeared. She places her hands on his belt and begins to unbuckle is pants.

Angela is lying in Jordan's arms, her face radiating with afterglow. An unmovable smile is on her face as she tries to remember everything about the night. She wants to remember the way the widow is partly open, the way the cool wind feels on her sticky body, the way the paint on the ceiling is chipping creating an image of a bear and a lion playing, but most importantly she wants to memorize the feeling of warmth from Jordan's naked body on hers as he quietly sleeps. Everything about that moment is magical: the way his hair looks over his face, his sweet smell of sweat, soap, and nicotine, the way his right arm is angled slightly.

_I feel so…I can't even describe how I feel. For the first time in my life, I can not describe how I feel…I guess love has that power. It's like I need to remind myself to breath. The best moment had to have been when Jordan was on top of me and just stopped kissing me and looked me right in the eyes. I never would have thought Jordan could ever love me as much as I love him, I never thought anyone could ever love anyone as much as I love him, but that moment, that look he had in his eyes showed me that he loved me as much as I love him…and maybe, just maybe, he loved me more than I loved him…JUST MAYBE…._

Angela had the best night's sleep she had ever had that night. Her dreams were filled with Jordan's eyes.

** End Flashback **

Angela places the picture back as she takes a deep breath. She tries to place memories of Jordan as far away as possible, especially, moments that were so perfect that make her want to fall in love with the memory of what used to be.

_This is going to be a long week!!! I need a drink…But at eight in the morning…a double espresso will have to do…_

The image of his eyes runs back into her mind…

…_maybe a triple espresso…and a muffin…_


	3. Chapter 4:Why Jordan is the Way he is

Italics are thoughts

**Chapter 4 **

Jordan and Shane are in a taxi going towards Three River. Shane looks angry and annoyed. Jordan looks nervous. Jordan is staring out the window looking very pensive ignoring Shane's complaints.

"**Why did you buy the tickets so early in the morning? You know I'm not a morning person. AND what was up with those sits? We could have afforded first class, but you are so cheap Catalano…AND that person sitting next to us, what was that smell coming from him? It was like so gross….AND…."**

Jordan is in his thoughts as he sees the place he once called home.

_For the first 17 years of my life I couldn't wait to leave this place. I never thought I would be so like excited to come back. I remember being like ten and my parents were having another one of their fights. Their fights weren't like other kids' parents fights; they were those fights where the fights were having you, not the other way around. The fights would like take over them…it would take over the whole house. I remember running to the garage to try to escape. It just like hurt too much to watch them. I would lock myself into my dad's old red car and close my eyes. I would imagine my life away from them, away from the harsh words, away from the desperation that was my life. And then when I was 14 my mom just left after a fight and never came back. I guess, I always expected her to come back for me, I mean I know my dad was a jerk. But I always thought moms left their husbands…not their kids. Well, I guess my mom was the exception. After she left, my dad took all that anger he had for her and directed it to me. At first I took it. Those years had to have been the worst in my entire life. Seeing the love in his eyes replaced with hatred and bitterness towards me was so crushing…it hurt even more than his punches and put downs. I was so naïve back then. I thought that if I was a good son and didn't fight back he would some day just stop and love me again. But when I was 16 he beat me so hard I was sent to the hospital. I lied in bed that night so angry at him, so angry at myself for giving him that much power over me. He didn't even come and pretend he was a good father; the only person that came was Shane. I guess, that was the night things change. That night I grew up and realized that he would never change because that was the person he was…his anger would always outweigh his love. I swore that night I would never love or need anyone because that gave them too much power. After then I tried to stay as far away from that house as much as possible and when he tried to hit me I would fight back. I no longer needed him or for that matter, loved him. I don't really know why I stayed as long as I did. I guess it was a feeling I got whenever I thought about running away. I remember packing my bags countless amounts of times and just wanting to leave and never look back. But whenever I got close to the city limits, I would get this feeling in my heart. It just felt like wrong to leave. Like there was something important that was supposed to happen in Three Rivers. That feeling forced be to turn back every time, I didn't want to miss it…it's like my body knew it was just too important and was trying to warn me. It wasn't until I was 17 that I figured out what that feeling was about. It wasn't about a something…it was about a someone. She gave me the greatest possible gift and the thing I needed the most…she gave me HOPE. Hope for my present, my future, and hope in a greater life. She believed in me, something I thought could never happen, and she also made me believe in myself. _

They arrive to Shane's house. Shane pushes Jordan slightly.

"**Dude, are you listening to me!!!!??? We're here!!!!!"**

Shane's house looked a lot like Angela's house. It was in a nice, quite, calm neighborhood. The kind of neighborhood you would never expect to see a guy like Shane. Shane's mom comes running out of the house with open arms. Gloria looks like a classic sweet mother from a television show.

"**Sweethearts, I'm so happy to see you two!!!!!"**

Gloria hugs and kisses both Jordan and Shane at the same time. Shane seems to not appreciate his mother's hugs because he has been suffocated by them his whole life. While Jordan on the other hand, loves the feeling of a caring mother's affection that he never received.

"**HI!!!! It's so great to see you."**

_I have always loved Shane's mom. I wish I had a mother like her. Shane would always complain about her, I would secretly want to smack him because he never knew how lucky he was to have a mother that…LOVED HIM._

"**Yeah, mom it's nice to see you…can you like let go…I can't like breathe."**

"**Oh, Sweetheart…I'm sorry. I'm just so darn happy. Let me look at My Boys. You both look so handsome!!! Come in…I been baking and cooking all night!!!"**

Both Jordan and Shane follow Gloria it to the house. Jordan looks at the house that has not changed since high school. It even smells the same, which brings a smile to his face. They spend a good amount of time talking and eating. But after seeing Gloria and Shane's family makes him feel sad that he doesn't have a family of his own to celebrate his arrival. The idea of a happy home is depressing him.

"**I'll be back."**

Gloria gives Jordan a worried mothery look.

"**Sweetheart, where are you going? Are you not having fun?"**

"**Oh, no!!! I'm having a lot of fun!!!"**

_I'm such a liar._

"**I just want to go see my old house."**

Shane gives his friend the same worried look his mother gave him.

"**Do you want me to go with you, Man?"**

"**No!!! It's cool….it's something I need to do by myself."**

Jordan is walking down the familiar streets from Shane's house to his old house. Things have not changed, as he moves further from Shane's home and closer to his, the houses become less friendly and less loved. Once he arrives in front of his old house, he feels like he is ten years old again. He closes his eyes like it hurts to look at it. The door opens. Jordan's dad is a middle aged man. He is going bold, but you can still see that he was once a heartbreaker, like his son. He has Jordan's intense blue eyes, but they are missing something in them.

"**What are you going here?"**

Jordan looks at his father. The man that once looked all powerful in his son's eyes now looks so small.

_Nice to see you too, dad…_

"**I came for my ten year high school reunion, and I thought I should come by…"**

"**Why?"**

"**Well, because you're my father."**

"**Yeah, well…come in…"**

His house looked exactly the same. The same furniture, smell, it seems like the same dishes are in the sink for the past ten years. The fact that everything was the same did not make him smile like at Shane's home. Because Shane's home was perfect it didn't need to change, but his house was anything but perfect and needed change. A change that he knew would never come..

"**So….Why are you here again?"**

"**The reunion!"**

"**No, I mean in my house…do you want something because I don't have money or anything."**

"**No, I don't need money…I have money…lots of it. (Shyly) I'm kinda rich…"**

"**RICH!!! You!!! That has to be the funniest thing I have ever heard. What could have made you rich, you're a loser. Last time I check being a loser never made anyone money!!"**

Jordan becomes angry at the lack of respect he is receiving from his father. He can no longer take his negative criticism.

"**GOD!! Rick you haven't changed. You are still am awful father that never believed in me. You found like pleasure in making me feel bad about myself. But you know what; I don't need or want your approval. I didn't come here for that. I came here to show you that I made something of myself without you and that I forgive you for everything, because I'm a better man than you can ever be."**

Jordan starts to walk out. But Rick stops him before he can escape.

"**That's your problem, Jordan!! You have always thought that you were so much better than me. You are just like your mother. And when you met that little girlfriend of yours, the red head, you walked around like you were the king of the world. Like you were someone special."**

"**Don't you dare talk about Angela!!!"**

"**Oh, right!!! That little whore has always been you soft spot. She was just like your mother…weak!!! And worst of all she made you WEAK!!!!"**

"**SHUT UP!!!!"**

"**I saw you two together. Holding hands and kissing. She had all the control in that relationship. You could never be a better man than me. Letting a woman rule you like that, I was never more ashamed to call you my son."**

"**Because I didn't beat her and scream at her!!!! Yeah, Rick, what a powerful man you are, betting woman. Did that make you feel like a man? Because let me tell you something: That is not what makes a man that makes a coward!!! Let me tell you something else Rick I have spent my whole life trying not to be you and I'm succeeding!!!"**

Jordan walks out the door. He hears his father's last words as he heads towards Shane's home.

"**Angela won't want you…No one ever will!!!!"**

As Jordan walks back to Shane's home, his mind in flooded with anger and doubt.

_I can not believe that sad excuse for a man could cause me so much pain. He's not even a man…he's…he's…I don't know what he is!! I don't know why I let him affect me so much…maybe because before I met Angela he was all I had. I remember Angela asked me once why I was the way I was. I didn't know what to say, but now I know. The reason I was such a jerk in the beginning was because of my parents. I didn't want to let people in because I thought that they would all hurt me, leave me, or disappoint me like they did._ _But I guess the really awful part is that I ended up doing all those things to Angela. She was the only person I ever truly let in, well besides Shane but that's not the same. Rick is right about one thing I did give her control and at first it was really hard, but then it just felt like natural because I just loved and needed her so much. What is Rick is right about something else…what if Angela doesn't want to see me…what if she hates me as much as I hate Rick. I could never handle if Angela hated me that much. God…I should have thought of this before I decided to come here. If I never saw her again I could imagine in my mind that she still loved me the way she loved me in high school, but now… What if reality is nothing like my fantasy. I don't think I could like take the heartbreak. _

Jordan looked both physically and mentally drained

_I need a coffee…_


	4. Chapter 5: The Unchangeable

Italics are thoughts

**Chapter 5**

In a local café Angela is sitting at a table with a muffin, a cup of coffee, and a book. She keeps on trying to read the book, but she just can not get into it. Her mind keeps on wondering to something else…well someone else.

_Why do I always do this to myself? It's like I have this unhealthy need to like torture myself… My relationship with Jordan Catalano was such a long time ago. And yes it's true that he meant a great deal to who I was and also to whom I have become. But I can not keep holding on to the hopeless memories of what used to be. Part of me thought that by writing the book I would finally be saying goodbye to that chapter of my life, but the truth is that it just made me obsess more about it. Jordan Catalano has always been in the back of my mind, but now he is front and center. And that just kills me. Mainly because I know that I didn't mean half as much to him as he meant to me. I bet he has spent the past ten years carelessly touring with his band, sleeping with countless groupies, and never once thinking about me…GOD, why can't I just move on and forget about him? Maybe because I don't want to forget about him. Its like I know I should, I just can't imagine my life without at least the memory of Jordan Catalano. It's like I need it to like live…How pathetic am I? I'm even starting to use his first and last name whenever I think about him…just like back in sophomore year. I'm so pathetic I'm starting to depress myself. I feel like I have gone back in time. I guess that's what high school reunions are all about; trying to go back to how things were, everyone wanting so desperately to cling to the past. But why do high school memories hold such a considerable place in our hearts. If you really think about life and all its moments, high school was such a small and insignificant period in our lives. Why is it so hard to just move on…_

Angela is in her thoughts as Jordan walks into the café. He looks exhausted after his talk with his father. With out looking around he orders his usual drink.

"**Large coffee, black, three or four sugars."**

The young cashier smiles to Jordan suggestively, but soon notices that he is not in the mood.

"**For here or to go?"**

_I don't really feel like going back to Shane's right now. The image of a happy family is just too depressing right now…_

"**Sir, for here or to go!?"**

"**Oh!! Sorry, for here."**

Jordan takes his coffee. As he is turning to find a sit, he spots Angela. He is frozen in that spot admiring how beautiful she is.

_It's Angela. She is like here, five steps away from me. What should I do? She hasn't noticed me, should I go over there or sit and wait for her to come to me. God, she is just so beautiful it hurts to like look at her, but I think it would hurt more to not look at her. _ _She has always been beautiful, but now it's like stop traffic beauty. What should do? This is why I came to Three Rivers to see her. This moment is why I'm here. Why can't I just go over there...? I know why, it's because of what stupid Rick said, "Angela won't want you, no one ever will!!" God, I hate him!!! No, I can not going to allow him to control my life. I'm going over there right now. _

Jordan nervously walks over to Angela's table. He spills some boiling coffee on himself, but does not seem to notice.

"**Angela…"**

Angela looks up from her intense concentration. When she sees who it is she is in complete shock.

"**Jordan Catalano…"**

An awkward silence comes over them as they both take in what is happening. After a few moments, Angela gives Jordan her big radiant smile and stands up to give him a hug.

_That smile hasn't change. It still has the power to make me feel weak in the knees and at the same time make me feel 100 comfortable. And her smell it's still so welcoming and exciting…_

_After all this years Jordan Catalano is here actually here in my arms. And he can still give me butterflies. It has been forever since I last had these wonderful butterflies. Man, you don't realize how special they are until you feel them again after such a long time. _

After hugging tightly for many minutes, they both reluctantly pull away. They both sit down on Angela's table.

Angela tucks her hair behind her ear before she has the courage to speak.

"**I can't believe you are here. I never thought I would ever see you again."**

_Why did I say that? It makes it seem like I have spent the past ten years thinking about him. I mean I have, but I don't want him to know that. I better change the subject._

"**So, how have you been?"**

_She seems nervous, it's cute._

"**Well, I've been really good. I'm in LA now… or I guess still. The band is doing really good. We just finished a tour. And we're starting to record our new album. But…yeah…everything is really good…"**

_He seems so different. I can't really put my figure on it. It's not his appearance, I mean he style is more mature, but still overall the same…he looks GOOD. It must be something else…something inside._

Jordan becomes a little nervous when he notices that Angela is studing him.

"**So, what have you been up to?"**

"**Well, I went to NYU…you know that. I have been there ever since. Anyways, I became a writer. I know it's kinda weird, but I love it. I have always had a bunch of thoughts in my head and now I get paid to write them down. That's basically all I have been up to. It bet your life as a rock star is a million times more exciting than mine… I'm doing good… I guess. I mean things can be better, but I guess things can always be better."**

_She even talks the same. It's truly amazing how time can pass and things can change, but the things that truly matter stay the same._

"**I actually read your books…"**

Angela is in complete shock and terrified.

"**Really???!!!"**

_I can not believe Jordan Catalano actually read my books. Oh My God, this is my worst nightmare!!! He read my last book, which is about him. I bet it has been scientifically proven that a person can die from embarrassment…_

Jordan is a little sadden by her surprise.

"**I know, surprisingly I actually read now for like pleasure… Well not really, I only read it because it was written by you."**

"**Oh, no Jordan I didn't mean that I was surprised you read, I'm just surprised that you even found out about them. They are not that well known. Except maybe for the last one…"**

_Why did I bring that up? Why can't I just have this button to shut me up? I always need that button when I'm around Jordan Catalano._

"**I was watching some TV show and a heard them say you name…they were talking about your books, so I just went to the book store and, you know, bought them…"**

_**Should I tell her that I read them like ten times? Should I tell her that the last one about us made me cry…NO!!!**_

Angela lets out a quick sharp laugh.

"**Do you mean Oprah?"**

"**What?"**

"**Was the TV show Oprah?"**

"**Yeah…why?"**

Angela bursts into uncontrollable laughter.

"**Nothing I just can't imagine you watching Oprah and like following her reading list!!!"**

Jordan playfully pushes her. And laughs himself.

"**Shut up!! I like Oprah, she's a very smart lady…she reminds me of you."**

_I don't know why, but that has to be the best compliment I have ever received._

Jordan leans towards Angela and in a more serious, but still flirty tone says.

"**I think my favorite has to be "My So-Called Life"…..it was…it was…"**

A terrified look comes over Angela's face.

_Oh no_

Jordan stops in the middle of his sentence and stares at a crumb on the table that fell from muffin.

_Why is it so hard to describe her book? It was just so moving and honest, it was just so HER…_

"**It was PERFECT!!"**

Angela tucks her hair behind her ear and scrambles to explain herself.

"**Thanks!!! I wrote it thinking that no one would ever read it… But my editor read it and fell in love. So, basically he printed it."**

"**You wrote about me!!!"**

"**I Know…I thought about changing your name, but no other name would give you justice…"**

_Push that button_

"**And again I thought no one would ever read it, especially you!! Okay, now I'm officially embarrassed, let's talk about something else, please."**

Jordan just kept looking at her with great amusement and love.

"**Quit looking at me like that!!!"**

"**Like what??!!"**

"**Like the way you are?"**

"**Okay, I'll try!! So…are you seeing anyone?"**

_Please say NO!!!!!!_

Angela looks away from Jordan. Thinking about that common question.

_I have always hated that question, "Are you seeing anyone?" Partly because the answer is always no and also partly because what does it mean. "Are you seeing anyone?" of course I am, I see people all the time_.

"**Hum…No. You?"**

_Please say No!!!_

Jordan smiles to Angela with great relief and hope.

_Thank God!!!!!Thank You!!!_

"**No…"**

There was a silence after they both answered the question. It was not an awkward silence. More of a hopeful silence. They were both staring into each other's eyes with a lustful smile.

"**So…you're here for the reunion."**

_No, I'm here for you!!_

"**Yeah, I'm here for the reunion."**

"**It's going to be weird seeing everyone.."**

"**It wasn't weird seeing you…"**

"**Yeah, but that's different we were you know…"**

_Push the button_

"**Yeah, it's weird how somethings never change…like us…you know, together. I still feel like we are together, it's like I need to remind myself that we aren't."**

_I can't believe I just said that. Shut up before you make a greater fool of yourself._

Angela smiles at Jordan's comments.

_I can't believe he just said that!!! Maybe I had a greater impact in his life than I thought!!_

"**I know exactly what you mean!!"**

They both smiled at the fact that they still understood each other after all this time.

"**Tomorrow night we are having this sort of pre-reunion reunion at my dad's restaurant…you know the old gang...do you want to come?"**

"**Yeah, definitely, I love to!!!...Is it okay if Shane comes too??"**

Angela places her hand on her chin as she tries to remember this Shane guy.

"**Is he the one that would always call me "The Weird Girl"?"**

Jordan nervously moves around because he is embarrassed for his stupid friend.

"**Yeah that's him!! I would love to say he's changed for the better but that would be a lie. We are still good friends, he's in the band, and I'm staying at his mom's…So…"**

Angela feels pleasure in seeing him and hearing him nervously explain.

"**Jordan, of course he can come. The more the merrier or whatever!!"**

They spent the next four hours in that coffee shop. They talked, laughed, argued, and flirted about everything. It was like ten years had not separated them. They were both different than they were in high school but in the ways that mattered they were the same. They still had that unspoken connection between them.


	5. Chapter 6: To Give Up or Not to Give Up

Italics are thoughts

**Chapter 6**

Early in the morning Angela is lying in bed. She has a big smile on her face, like she just woke up from a really good dream.

_Being with Jordan Catalano is so…is so…addictive. I mean I have never done drugs or anything, but I bet that's how it feels. It's like feels so good and so right when you do it, and you just want to do it over and over. Even though you know that it will only end badly, the desire for it is so strong it erases all logic. You just can't resist. We spent hours in that coffee shop, just talking and laughing, like nothing ever changed between us. That coffee shop was like our time machine. It was just PERFECT. I mean, I know now that Jordan is anything but perfect and I am also a bundle of imperfections, but we have these moments when I forget the fact that neither of us are perfect. I use to have those moments all the time in high school, I think it was those moments that made me fall in love with Jordan. Those moments just some how made everything okay or at least gave me faith that everything was going to be okay. God, I loved those moments. I used to live for those moments. _

Angela sighs deeply. Patty's demanding voice travels from down stairs.

"**Angela!!!!! Wake up; Sharon and Camille are going to be here in a half an hour for brunch!!!!"**

Angela rolls her eyes at her mother's comment. She is frustrated that she has brought her out of her pleasant thoughts of Jordan.

"**Alright!!!!! (To herself) Relax it's not like they are going to leave without me."**

Angela gets up from bed and goes into the shower. After her nice relaxing shower she is standing in front of the mirror doing her hair and putting on make up. She seems to be in deep thought, which of course she is.

_The last time I saw Sharon was three years ago at her wedding. Sharon met her husband, Danny, at Duke University. They are so perfect for each other and have a perfect little family. It's sweet, but some what depressing. Is it wrong that the idea of a happy family makes me depressed? Anyways, I was a bride's maid. I kinda felt guilty being in her wedding, because after high school we weren't as close. I mean we would talk here and there, but nothing worthy of bride's maid material. The sad thing is that of all of my high school friends, Sharon is the only one that I some what kept in touch with. Rickie went to the San Francisco Design Institute to become a fashion designer. Rayanne left with some guy after graduation, she said she was going to go find her place in the world, whatever that means. And Brian…Brain went to Yale to become a lawyer. But my mom said that he dropped out his last year in law school to become a photographer. I remember my mom saying that his parents were so disappointed, but that had to be the proudest I have ever been of anyone in my entire life. Anyways, we all said we would keep in touch and visit. And in the beginning we did, but it just wasn't the same anymore. After high school we promised each other that nothing would change, but I guess none of use believed it. I knew deep inside that we would all go our separate ways. I knew that there would be larger gaps in between calls and visits until we completely lost contact. I knew that sooner or later we would become faint shadows in each others memories. I guess, it just happened sooner rather than later._

"**Angela!!!!!! Sharon and Camille are here!!!!!"**

Angela puts down the hair straighter and runs down stairs. When she sees Sharon, she gives her a big smile. Sharon goes towards Angela to give her a hug.

"**Oh, Angela I have missed you!!!!"**

"**I have missed you too!!!"**

"**Yeah right, if you did you would have came to visit. The train ride from Boston and New York is not that long."**

Angela feels guilt come over her body. She knows that she could have stayed close with Sharon but didn't.

_I'm an awful daughter and an awful friend. _

"**I know, I really am sorry…it's just…"**

Sharon notices that Angela feels bad and feels bad for making her feel bad.

"**Oh, Angela it's okay. That train goes both ways."**

They both smile at each other. Knowing that they will start to keep in touch because they are better friends than that. Patty, Angela, Sharon, and Camille go to a local restaurant for brunch. They are sitting at an intimate table remembering the past, discussing the present, and predicting the future.

"**Sharon, how are Danny and the baby?"**

Angela looks down at her plate, as she tries to avoid her mother's eyes that are on her.

_Here goes my mom again, making sly remarks about husbands and babies. I know they are meant as hints for me._

"**Danny got a promotion at work and Danny Jr. is starting to walk..."**

Sharon's mother interrupts her daughter with pictures of her grandson. She has a proud smile on her face.

"**You guys have to see him, he is so big now."**

"**Yeah, I can wait to see him!!!!!"**

Camille looks over at Patty before she speaks and they share a knowing look.

"**So, Angela, what about you? Do you have a special someone that might be the one??"**

Angela's eyes turn to her plate again in an attempt to avoid both mothers.

_God, I hate when Mothers work together to literally embarrass their children…_

"**Oh…No, not right now. I guess I'm still waiting for "The One.""**

_The One…God I hope The One even exists…_

"**Well, sweetie, you can't just wait for the one to come you have to go look for him. Are you looking?"**

Angela looks over to Sharon with a save me look. Sharon looks at her mother with a look of annoyance.

"**Mom!!!! God, leave Angela alone. You can't rush something like that."**

Angela gives Angela a thank you smile.

_Sharon is my new hero!!!!_

The women sit and chat for some time. They arrive to Angela house. Patty and Camille stay downstairs and Sharon and Angel go to her room.

"**God, Angela you room looks exactly the same. It's like a photograph of the teen you."**

She looks around, picking up teddy bears and photos. She picks up the picture of Jordon and Angela at the prom

"**WOW!!! I forgot how gorgeous Jordan Catalano was!!!! You two were the most unlikely couple in the world. But some how you guys made it work."**

Angela sits on her bed hugging a pillow. She turns to Sharon smiling from ear to ear before she begins to speak.

"**Speaking of Jordan Catalano, I saw him yesterday…"**

"**WHAT????!!!! He's like here. I never thought her would come to a high school reunion. I always thought the only reason he didn't drop out was because of you…So tell me everything…Don't you dare leave out anything!!!!"**

Angela tells Sharon every little detail about her encounter with THE Jordan Catalano.

"**Oh my God Sharon, it was just like high school. All the feelings were the same. It made me wonder is they ever went away…"**

Sharon gives Angela her classic concerned look.

"**Angela!!! Don't do this to yourself again!!!!"**

"**Do what?"**

"**Fall for him again…It's one thing to date a Jordan Catalano in high school, but it is completely different to date one when you are 27. The Jordan Catalanos of the world are dangerous and mysterious, but they are not the type you marry and form a family with. They are the ones you have fun with and let loss, you don't settle down with them. It's like against their nature or something."**

_She's starting to sound like our mothers._

"**I didn't say anything about marriage. I just thought it was nice, to you know be with him like before. I'm not like delusional. I don't expect him to leave is band and marry me and have the whole white picket fence, the dog, and the 2.5 kids. I didn't expect that in high school and I don't expect that know. It was just nice…"**

_I'm such a liar. I am completely delusional._

"**But…is it so completely impossible for him to like rather be with me than his band. Is that such an insane idea?"**

"**Angela…I know you loved Jordan Catalano. I know he will always have a special place in your heart. That's normal, he was your first boyfriend, your first you know, and your first love. He was basically you first everything. And it is completely normal to wonder what might have been, especially the way you guys ended. But you can't wait for Jordan Catalano your whole life. There has to be a point when you just give up on him."**

_I can't believe what I'm hearing. Is Sharon Cherski telling me to give up? That does not sound like her. She's usually a romantic. What has changed in her, to make her like this??_

"**Angela!!!! Are you listening to me????"**

"**Yeah, I'm listening!"**

_But, I'm not ready to give up!!!_

"**So…don't be mad but, I invited him to the dinner tonight."**

"**Angela!!!! You're like a child, you never learn."**

They both share a smile. Angela's is an excited smile, while Sharon's is a nervous one.

Now in Shane's home. In a nice guest room, Jordan is laying in bed with his eyes closed. At first it seems like he is peacefully sleeping, but then a smile comes over his beautiful lips.

_Angela always has a way of making me forget about the bad parts of my life. After seeing stupid Rick and seeing the perfect family Shane has, I was feeling so down. But from the moment she gave me her beautiful caring smile I forgot all about that. I can't like stop thinking about her. I keep wondering what she thought about me. Was she happy to see me? Was she mad because I leaving and never calling? Was she disappointed? I have never been able to read her. When ever I tried, I was always wrong. In high school, I used to spend hours trying to figure what she was thinking. After a while, I just gave up trying to figure it out because I knew I couldn't. She was just so unreadable…I guess that's what always attracted me to her. The fact that she always kept me on my toes and always did the unexpected excited me. I love that she was nothing like other girls I knew and she still like no one I have ever met. _

Shane bursts into his room without knocking. Scaring at Jordan.

"**Dude, you missed breakfast! What's up? You got back late last night. Did something happen with your dad?"**

Jordan gets up from bed. He starts to change.

"**No…everything was fine with Rick. We fought, but we needed to. It's like the only feeling I have to give him…Anger."**

"**So. You guys fought all day?"**

"**Hum…no. I went to get coffee…and…saw an old friend…"**

"**Oh!! Who? Tino?" **

"**No…"**

"**Than who Man??? All your old friends are my old friends?"**

"**Well, she wasn't really your friend…"**

Shane gives Jordan a smile.

"**So…it's a she…**_**"**_

"**Yeah, it's a she."**

"**Is it Cynthia?" **

Jordan squints his eyes trying to remember who Cynthia was. After a few moments he gives up trying to remember and answers Shane.

"**Ah, no…"**

"**Is it Graff?"**

Jordan turns to Shane harshly. He is offended and disgusted by his suggrstion.

"**NO!!!!!"**

"**Dude, don't get mad!! Just tell me??"**

"**It was Angela!!"**

"**Jordan!!!!! Not again…"**

"**What?!?!"**

"**That girl is only trouble. Remember how depressed you were after you guys ended it. You weren't with a girl for like 8 months after that. All the songs you wrote were about her. Jordan, I don't want to be mean. You know I love you man, that is why I'm telling you this. I don't was to see you like that again. But Jordan, girls like that don't want guys like us. High school is like the only time guys like us can be with girls like her. "**

"**What do you mean?"**

"**Girls like Angela want stability. They want someone that they can trust and be with—completely. In high school, they want someone that is reckless and unpredictable. But when they grow up, they want a faithful stable husband. Jordan, guys like us can never be what girls like Angela want or need. As much as you may want to, you can't. It's time to just give up. Jordan, you have to give up and move on."**

"**You're right girls like Angela want stability. But I want and need that too. I have never had what you have. I have never known what it is like to have someone, not until I met Angela. For the first time in my life she made feel safe and loved. She made me feel like it was okay to want more in life. She made me feel like I deserved more in life. You keep talking about "guys like us," but you know what Shane I don't think I'm that guy anymore. I don't think I have been that guy for a really long time. I don't know if Angela still feels the same way for me that I feel for her. I really don't know. All I know is that I'm not going to give up on idea of being with Angela. I just can't…and won't…"**

"**So, she's the real reason we came to the high school reunion?"**

"**Yeah…I just need to try…I can't give up… "**

"**Fine…It's your life…but don't say I never warned you. Love doesn't exist and people that say they are in love are only lying to themselves**."

_Was Shane always like this. How can something that grew up in such a loving home not believe in love?_

"**Angela invited us to dinner at her dad's restaurant tonight…"**

"**Are you asking me or telling me??"**

"**I'm telling you!!!"**


	6. Chapter 7: The PreReunion Reunion Part 1

Italics are thoughts

**Chapter 7**

Angela is getting ready for the dinner. She's wearing an expensive little dress and heals. She looks gorgeous. But she seems a little nervous.

_I wonder how it's going to be today to see Rickie, Rayanne, and Brian. It just seems like too much time has past, like we are all complete strangers now. With Jordan, it was nothing like that. I guess because of what Sharon said, he was my first everything. There is just something so special about firsts, you never really forget them. They become a part of you. _

"**Angela!!!! Hurry up!!!! Your Father wants you to be there early to greet everyone."**

"**I'll be right there!!!"**

Angela runs down the stairs. She sees her mom looking at an old picture before the divorce on the mantel.Patty doesn't really look sad more lost.

_Tonight must be really hard for my mom. She and Dad haven't really been in a room together since the separation. She especially hasn't been in a room with his new family. My Dad married Hallie Lowenthal a.k.a his business partner four months after my parents got divorces. And the thing I have never really forgiven him is that they had a baby six months later. Now I'm no doctor, but that means that my dad had sex with Hallie when he was still married to my mom. I have always had this feeling in my gut about my dad and his faithfulness. I guess my little half-brother proves that my gut was right. _

"**Mom, I'm ready!!!"**

"**Oh…great let's go. Tonight is going to be a long night."**

"**You look very beautiful tonight Mom."**

"**Thank you, Sweetie. You're the one that looks gorgeous. When did that girl that would constantly wear plaid and baggy clothes become such a sophisticated dresser?"**

"**Must have been when the 90s ended!!!"**

They both laugh and walk to the car. As they drive to the restaurant, they talk and laugh. Angela wants to make sure her mom has a good night.

At Shane's house, Jordan and Shane are getting ready. Jordan seems nervous and excited and Shane seems indifferent to the whole situation. Jordan is wearing nice jeans, a dressy shirt, and a blazer. He looks like the perfect mixture of fancy and casual.

"**I told you to dress nice."**

"**What are you talking about, Man? I am dressed nice. My shirt is actually clean."**

"**Angela's dad's restaurant is a nice place. At least put on a button down shirt or something."**

"**Why? I'm not trying to impress her, you are!!"**

Jordan looks at his oldest friend with much frustration as he throws a shirt from his closet.

"**Just do it!!!! You're pissing me off!!!"**

"**Fine!!!! God, if it means that much to you!!!!"**

_Why am I nervous? I shouldn't be!! I saw Angela yesterday and it was great…no it was perfect. She wants to see me again because if she didn't she wouldn't have invited me. It's not like I haven't seen her in ten years. I shouldn't be nervous. Why an I nervous?...I guess it's because it's not just going to be me and Angela this time. All her friends are going to be there. I don't know why, but me and Angela were never able to be comfortable with each others friends. Alone we were great. But once you mixed our friends everything just seemed off. Her friends have always hated me, especially after the whole Graff thing. And with my friends it was just awkward. I guess it was because when I was with Angela I was different… no it's more like when I was with my friends I was different. So, when I was with Angela and my friends I never really knew how to act. It was like I had to make an in between me. And that just was weird for everyone involved._

"**Jordan, are we doing this or not???"**

"**Yeah, lets go!!!"**

At the restaurant, Angela and Patty enter.

"**Angela!!!"**

He walks towards her for a hug. Angela gives him a weak hug.

"**Hi, dad".**

Hallie Lowenthal jumps from behind her husband to give Angela a hug.

"**Hi Angela!!!! How are you? Don't you look gorgeous? I read your newest book it's really great." **

"**Um…Thanks."**

"**It reminded me of my high school years. All the good and the bad. I recommended it to everyone."**

_God, she talks a lot. I wonder if she knows that I don't really like her._

"**Um…Thanks."**

Hallie looks down a little as she directs her attention to Patty.

"**Hi, Patty. How are you? You look good."**

"**Um…Thanks."**

Quietness comes over the room.

"**Come on. Let's sit down."**

They all follow Graham to a long table. Sitting down is a ten year old boy with a baseball hat.

"**Junior, I told you not to wear that hat to dinner."**

"**But Dad it's my lucky hat and the pirates are playing tonight." **

Angela watches a proud father interact with his son. They seem close, which makes her feel even further away from her own father.

_Junior is my half-brother; his real name is Graham Jr. I guess my dad finally got the son he always wanted. I don't really feel like he's my brother. I know that's an awful thing to saw, but its how I feel._

Come give your sister a hug.

_My dad is always pushing us together._

"**Hi!!! It's been a while…"**

"**I know!!!" **

_I don't think he likes me very much, but to be honest I don't really care._

Graham, Hallie, and Junior are sitting on the opposite side of the table from Angela and Patty. They are making small talk, but feeling uncomfortable. Camille and Sharon walk into the restaurant. Everyone looks relieved.

"**Angela!!! You look amazing!!! You can tell you haven't had any kids."**

"**You look beautiful!!!"**

"**I'm still trying to loss the baby fat…I know Jordan is going to love that dress!!!"**

In hearing Jordan's name Patty quickly turns from her conversation with Camille.

"**Did she say Jordan? Angela, is Jordan Catalano coming?"**

"**Um…yeah. I saw him yesterday and invited him…Is that ok?"**

"**I don't know Angela. I don't think that's a good idea."**

"**That's what I was telling her!!"**

Angela looks at both her friend and her mother with the same annoyance and amusement.

"**You two worry too much. I'll be fine."**

Ricky walks in looking very artistic.

"**Angela!!!!"**

Angela jumps with excitement at the voice the familiar voice.

"**Ricky!!!!"**

They both embrace in an honest hug. Angela remembers how kind and caring Ricky was to her. He was so much like her. They both felt like they didn't belong in high school. His feelings of not belonging were much more extreme than hers, but they got each other. He always understood her when no one else did. She missed that, she missed him.

"**I've missed you so much."**

"**I've missed you more!!!"**

"**Not possible!!"**

They both laugh. Sharon walks over.

"**Hi, Ricky!! How are you?"**

"**Sharon, Hi."**

Ricky and Sharon hug.

"**Tell us Ricky, what have you been up to!!!"**

"**Well, I'm doing good. Not as good as you Miss. Best Selling Author. But I've been good. I'm still in San Francisco. I have an actual life there. I feel like I fit, you know. Anyways, after school, I started a design line with a friend. Nothing big. We are just getting off the ground. We are actually going to be at fashion week in New York in the fall."**

"**That's amazing. I'm defiantly going to be there."**

"**What about you guys, what have you guys been up to?"**

"**I got married and had a baby."**

Angela looks over at Sharon who seems deflated after hearing herself describe the last ten years of her life with only getting married.

_Why does she seem sad when she said that?_

Ricky places his hand on Angela's shoulder, scarring her a bit.

"**Angela!!!"**

"**Yeah?"**

"**I read your book!!"**

"**God, did everyone read that book? It seems like everyone that I have seen in the past two days have read that book."**

"**The part about Jordan was really…Amazing!!"**

Angela and Ricky share a sweet childish smile before Sharon interrupts.

"**She invited him. Can you believe her?"**

"**Jordan Catalano is coming tonight!!! That is so romantic. It's like you two have a second chance. It's like it's meant to be."**

_It's so good to know that Ricky is still the hopeless romantic he has always been. It's comforting to know that he hasn't lost hope._

"**I Know!!"**

Sharon playful slaps Ricky on the shoulder.

"**Ricky, don't encourage her!!!!!"**

Angela and Ricky share a hopeful smile. Then Patty comes open armed to greet Ricky.

"**Ricky!!!! Come give me a hug!!"**

Angela smiles as she watches Ricky and her mother hug.

_It so strange to think that my mom and Ricky are so close. I remember when she first met him she was so uncomfortable around him. I guess it was because he was nothing like her. My mom is so traditional in her belief of how people should look and act. Ricky just broke all the rules she had in her head. But when she really got to know him she realized he was a great person in the inside. After that it didn't matter to her that he was gay and wore makeup. And when Mr. Katimski couldn't take care of Ricky after our junior year, my mom was the one to suggest that he stayed with us. I respected her so more after that._

"**Did you get the pictures of my new line?"**

"**Yes!! I love it, it's so elegant. You have to make the floral dress in my size."**

"**You actually inspired me to make that dress!"**

Camille, Patty, Ricky, Angela, and Sharon are talking. Hallie and Graham are quietly listening to them, wishing they could be part of the fun. A short blond walks into the room. She looks older than the rest of them, like life has been hard for her. But she looks overall happy and jolly.

"**Angela Face, Vasquez, Cherski!!!!!"**

They all look up to see Rayanne standing with open arms. They walk up to her and give her a big hug and kiss.

"**Rayanne! It is so great to see you!!"**

Ricky eagerly wants to hear about Rayanne's life.

"**Tells us what you have been up to? I haven't heard from you in fives years, since you were in Nevada with the blackjack dealer."**

Angela looks away for a second feeling a little hurt and left out that she never heard about a blackjack dealer

_Las Vegas!? I never heard about this…_

"**Don't even speak about that dead beat!!! I hate his guts!!!"**

"**Why? What happened?"**

"**Well, that jerk took all my money and ran off with some stripper when I was six months pregnant… And he…"**

Angela, Ricky and Sharon look at each other and in unison recite.

"**YOU HAVE A BABY!!!???"**

Rayanne innocently trolls her hair before she response.

"**Yeah, didn't I mention that?"**

Ricky looks at Rayanne blankly and with great disbelief.

"**No!!! You told me the story about being on the Price is Right about five times, but never mentioned the fact that you're a mother."**

_I can't believe Rayanne is a Mother. She never seemed like the mother type. But now that I think about it, she does seem different. Stronger and wiser, I guess being a mother does that to you. It forces you to grow up and to think about someone other than yourself… I don't think I would be a good mother, I'm too selfish…_

"**Hey, I love Bob Barker. He's like a father figure to me… And I won the showcase show down. I'm the proud owner of a RV and…"**

Sharon looks at Rayanne with irritation.

"**Can we like please stop talking about the Price is Right and get back to the whole baby part."**

"**Right…so after the jerk left, I didn't want to be in Vegas anymore. Everything about that city reminded me of him. So I went to the complete opposite of the city and the complete opposite of him. I went to New Mexico. I worked as a waitress at some dinner. The owner was really nice. I guess she felt pity for me; she gave me a room and a job. And then I met a cowboy. He's this all American, apple pie, church on Sundays kind of a guy. And he fell in love with me. And I feel in love with him. I know can you believe it? Me, Rayanne Graff the girl that doesn't allow her emotions to get involved with boys, is madly in love with her husband. We have a farm, three kids, and a truck. I'm a traditional house wife that bakes and goes to PTA meetings. I'm just like all the other moms in town. Well…I still listen to Nirvana and I do dress different from them, but overall I am them. My life is not what you expected, I know…sometimes I wake up and expect it all to be gone. But thankfully it never is."**

Angela's eyes are filled with tears as she takes Rayanne's hand.

"**Rayanne, that's really great. You don't know how happy I am to hear that you are happy and safe. That's all I ever wanted. And it's not that surprising; you deserve all of it and much more. You are such a great person; don't ever believe that you don't deserve what you want in life."**

"**Oh, Angel Face, I have missed you so much."**

Rayanne and Angela share a hug. Before Rayanne pulls away and smiles knowingly at Angela.

"**Speaking of what we want in life…I read your book!!!"**

"**Oh, God!!!!"**

A surprisingly attractive and confident man walks in to the restaurant. His blond hair is very short; if it was any longer it would be curly. He has a small stylish beard. It makes him look very worldly. Rayanne is the first one to notice the young man and speaks some what rudely.

"**Oh my God, Krakow?"**

The whole room turns their attention to the ex-geek turned hunk.

Angela looks at Brian before she quickly turns to Ricky with surprise and intrigue on her face.

"**Oh, my God Ricky!!!"**

"**I know!!!"**

Brian makes his way into the room as he speaks to Rayanne.

"**Hey Rayanne. How have you been? (Jokingly) Good to know you're still alive."**

"**Shut up, Krakow and give me a hug!!"**

Sharon shyly waits for her turn to speak to Brian.

"**Brian, you look so good!!!"**

"**Thanks!!! You look good to as always."**

Sharon blushed and can not believe that Brian Krakow has made her blush.

Brian makes his way towards Ricky, Patty, and Angela.

"**Wow, Brian. Took you long enough to take my advice and cut that clown hair of yours."**

"**Yeah…well, the ladies don't really like clowns. I see you never took my advice about the vests."**

"**Hey, just because you cut your hair and stopped letting your mother dress you; don't think you have a better style than me. Don't forget I'm the fashion designer here."**

They share a laugh and a hug. Patty patiently waits their embrace to end before she speaks.

"**I'm so glad you came Brian. Your parents made it seem like you weren't coming."**

"**It's really great to see you too Mrs. Chase. My parents thought that I wouldn't come because according to them my life sucks and people don't come to reunions if they aren't successes."**

Angela gives Brian a huge radiant smile.

"**Well, you seem really happy to me Brian. And that's all that matters."**

A big smile comes to Brian's face as he sees her.

"**Well, if it isn't the infamous Angela Chase."**

"**No, you're the infamous one!!"**

Brian walks closer to Angela resting his hands on her hips and pulling her towards him. His grip is soft, yet passionate as he holds her close to his body. Angela's arms are wrapped around his neck. Everyone in the room watches them with amusement and wonder. Angle whispers sweetly into his ear.

"**I'm really proud of you Brian!!!"**

Brian pulls her away slightly and looks deep into her eyes.

"**For what?"**

"**For doing what you needed to do for once. For following your dreams and not caring what others thought of you for doing it."**

"**I only did what you did when you were 15. It was because of you."**

"**Me? What did I do?"**

"**I was in law school, all freaked out over mid terms and I happened to come across pictures from high school. One picture of you with your blond hair, floral dress, and Sharon and the other picture was of only you with your red hair. It made me remember how brave you were to completely change who you were because you needed to; because if you didn't you would like die. I knew exactly how you felt back them, but was too afraid to do anything about it. And I still knew how you felt. It made me wish I was more like you. Unafraid to leave everything you knew and all the expectation to search for something better, in search for yourself. The next day I dropped out and went to Europe."**

Angela gazes at Brian with complete amazement.

"**Brian, I had no idea…"**

"**You have always had this power to make me want more in life and for that I want to thank you…and also…"**

Rayanne as always jumps in to be the center of attention to rudely interrupt the intimate conversation.

"**Hey!!!! Sorry to interrupt your private conversation, but if you haven't noticed there are other people in this room!!" **

Brian gives Rayanne an irritated look.

"**Good to know you're still as rude as always Rayanne. It's nice how some things never change."**

"**Right back to you Brian, I see you are still in love with…"**

Ricky sharply calls Rayanne's name to warn her to stop.

"**Rayanne!!!!"**

"**It's good to know you're still in love with…with…taking pictures!!!"**

Sharon joins the conversation in a way to help Rayanne out of her jam.

"**Yeah!!! My mom told me that you're a professional photographer. That makes sense, since you were always taking pictures and stuff in high school…and..."**

Brain was not really paying attention to anyone. His complete attention is to Angela and how beautiful she looks. He never thought it was humanly possible for her to be more beautiful than she was in high school, but somehow she was.

Brian comes out of his trance.

" **Um…yeah…"**

Ricky has been examining the way Brian has been looking at Angela while Sharon speaks. Ricky hides a smile before he turns to speak to Brian.

"**So, Brian. How was Europe? I always wanted to go."**

"**Oh, it was so amazing. I loved it; it was a life changing experience. Actually, I'm publishing a book with prints from my trip…Speaking of books, I read you newest book Angela!"**

Everyone laughs

"**God!!! Did someone like send that book to everyone that was in it just to embarrass me or something? I honestly never thought anyone would read it. But everyone did: you, Ricky, Rayanne, Sharon, and Jordan. I knew it was a bad idea."**

Brian's heart brakes slightly by hearing Angela say Jordan's name. He uses all the power he has to remove any hint of eagerness in his voice.

"**How do you know Jordan read it?"**

Everyone ignored Brian's question as Graham walks in holding his signature spaghetti and meatballs.

"**Well, now that everyone is here we should sit and eat."**

Sharon and Ricky look at Angela with a sad and worried look. She gives them an "its okay smile"

"**Yeah, let's eat!! I'm starving!!"**

Ricky leans forward to Angela and whisper honestly.

"**Angela, I'm so sorry."**

"**It's okay. I mean, its Jordan Catalano what else should have I expected. Jordan will be Jordan."**

Everyone is talking and laughing. Angela smiles as she watches Rayanne and Brian bicker back and forth.

_What's amazing is when you realize that people that truly touch your life never become strangers. It doesn't matter that you haven't seen each other in a long time or that everyone has their own life. We will never be strangers because we just meant too much to each other. That has connected us for life. _

Outside the restaurant, Shane and Jordan are walking. Jordan looks worried and Shane looks bored.

"**Hurry up Shane. We're late!!!!"**

"**Don't be mad at me, you're the one that got lost."**

" **I didn't get lost! I just forgot where it was at, it has been ten years."**

Shane laughs

" **That's the same thing as being lost man!!"**

"**I'm not in the mood for your jokes!!!"**

Inside the restaurant, Brian and Angela are looking very comfortable with each other. Angela is picking meatballs from his plate and they are both laughing.

"**You look very beautiful, Angela"**

Angela smiles and blushes. She tucks her hair behind her ear.

"**Thanks…you too."**

"**I never thought Angela Chase would say I'm beautiful."**

Angela places her had on top of his. They look intensely into each others eyes. They look very comfy. Angela flirtatious looks at Brian as she speaks.

"**You know what I mean. You look really, really, really good!"**

"**Three "reallys" you're making me blush Chase!!"**

"**That's what I do best!!"**

They are caught in each others eyes. Their bodies are towards each other in a very suggestive way. Angela's hand is still on top of his. Jordan and Shane walk in at that moment. Every one notices them come in. Everyone, except for the person that he wanted to notice. As Jordan walks behind them, Angela and Brian are still smiling and drowning in each others eyes.

"**Angela!"**


	7. Chapter 8: The PreReunion Reunion Part 2

Sorry it took so long to update. They removed my story because it was written in script format. So, I rewrote the first 7 chapters in the new format. Hope its good….

My story is dedicated to HildeMarie, Thanks for encouraging me to continue the story!!!

­­

"**Angela!!!"**

Angela turned from the intense gaze she shared with Brian to see Jordan. She was in shock that he came. She used all her energy to speak.

"**Hey…"**

He walked closer to her and spoke seductively.

"**Hey…"**

His attention quickly turned to a dumbfounded Brian. He looked at the man envious of how close he was to Angela.

"**Hey, Brain."**

Brian looks awkwardly at Angela before responding.

"**Hi…Hey."**

Angela stared both at Jordan and Brian as she sat in between them.

_God this seems really familiar, it's like the time I found out Brian wrote the later after Jordan slept with Rayanne 12 years ago. I guess it true; those that don't learn from the past are doomed to repeat it. _

** FLASHBACK **

Jordan his driving and Angela is staring out the window. Jordan looks over at her and sees she is in deep thought.

_I cannot believe that Brian basically told me that he likes me. Brian has always been this person that is just there. I mean, I guess he's my friend, but not really. He has always been a reminder of the kind of person I don't want to be. He's so boring, oppressed, and impassionate about life. I never imaged that he would be capable of having any feelings that weren't directed to studying… Now that I think about it, I guess I always kind of knew he had a thing for me. Rayanne is always talking about it, but I always ignored it because I never wanted to deal with it. The idea of me and Brian is just…wrong. But I guess a lot of people thing the same way about me and Jordan. That we don't fit. That it would never work. I guess, I'm Brian's Jordan. Which could explain why he is always around, always butting into my life. He needed me just as much as I needed Jordan. Like an obsession or like air…_

Jordan begins to worry about Angela's distantness. He pulls the car over and waits for her to speak. After a few moments of her silence, he decides to make the first move.

"**Angela, is everything okay?"**

Angela turns to face Jordan. The moonlight behind him was making his face look more beautiful than normally. His eyes were filled with concern and love. I took all the will power Angela had to not kiss him. In almost a whisper Angela answers.

"…**um…no." **

"**What is it? Did I do something?"**

"**I know you didn't write the letter."**

Angela's words turn harsh as she takes a deep breath and continues to speak.

"**You must think I'm an idiot…to believe all those things in that letter. God, I am an idiot. How could I believe that you would express yourself so beautifully to me? How could I believe that you would feel for me the things that were said in that letter? I have to be an idiot."**

"**Angela…"**

"**No…Jordan don't!!!!!! Since the moment we meet everything I have done I have done for you. For the hope that you would notice me, like me, want me, and need me. But you know what I'm tired of it!!!!!"**

"**Angela…"**

Angela storms out of the car before Jordan can speak. He dashes off the follow her. He grabs her arm in an attempt to save their relationship. He gently places his arms on her shoulders, creating a cage with his body to keep her from running away.

"**Angela let me talk. Everything you said is completely right."**

Angela looks at him with complete shock.

"**Ever since we meet you have done everything and I have done nothing. You have always been the one that comes to me. The truth is I like it that way. And when you stopped…I missed it. I realized that I didn't only notice you, like you, and want you…I also needed you. I never thought I would feel that way about anyone. My whole life I kept everyone at a distance because I knew that they would soon leave me. Never allowing people in was my way of making sure that I wouldn't miss them once they were gone. But then there I was missing the girl that I worked so hard to not let in because I didn't want to miss her when she was gone…it was so ironic, I guess. And I needed to show you somehow how I felt. To let you know that I was sorry and that I needed you in my life. So...I asked that Brain kid to help. I knew it was wrong and I wanted to tell you but I couldn't. You just seemed so happy and you deserve to be happy. I just wanted so much to be the one to make you happy. As happy as you make me."**

Angela looks intensely at Jordan.

_Why is it that whenever I want to give up on Jordan he does something that makes me love him so much. It was easier to hate Jordan Catalano than to love him. I should hate him, but I just can't_

Angela leans forward a kisses him. She wraps her hands around his neck as he places his arms around her lower back. She tilts her head slightly in order to deepen the kiss. They stay like this until both of them can no longer breathe. Then Jordan drives Angela home. He gives her a loving look and kiss before she leaves. Brian is still riding his bike around the street. Angela tries to make a run for her door, but decides that Brian deserves better.

"**Brian…"**

"**Yeah…"**

"**I just want to say…thank you for the letter. It has to be the most amazing letter I have ever received."**

"**Yeah, well. I want you to be happy…that's all I have ever wanted."**

"**I want you to be happy too Brian."**

"**Yeah…well… I guess what would make me happy wouldn't make you happy."**

"**Brian…"**

"**Chase!! Just stop!!! You're just going to stop rambling like you always do when you don't know what to say. It's okay, really! It's not like I thought it would turn out differently. I'm not completely delusional."**

"**Thank you Brain. You're a good friend. You're a way better friend to me than I have ever been to you. You deserve so much better."**

"**Yeah…you're probably right."**

They both share a quick laugh.

"**I'll see you tomorrow."**

"**Yeah."**

** END OF FLASHBACK **

Everyone in the room is pretending to eat, but their full attention is towards the Jordan, Angela, Brian love triangle. Ricky moves two sits down to allow Jordan and Shane to sit down.

"**I'm sorry we're late. I couldn't remember where the restaurant was."**

Shane interrupts.

"**Actually, he got lost."**

"**Angela, you remember Shane."**

"**Yeah, Hi. Shane it's nice to see you. How have you been?"**

"**I've been good…I just want to say sorry for the ass I was in high school. If I knew you were going to grow up to be so HOT, I've would have been nicer."**

Jordan quickly turns to Shane and gives him a sharp look. Angela smiles and tucks her hair behind her ear.

"**Thanks Shane. That's really nice of you, but I'm still a weird girl."**

Brian had been watching the interactions and found enough confidence to speak. In a flirtatious manner, Brian leans over towards Angela.

"**I don't think your weird, Chase. You're perfect."**

Angela blushes and once again tucks her hair behind her ear. Everyone is carefully watching the show.

_What is going on???!!!???_

Jealousy takes over Jordan, as he possessively places his arm around Angela's chair as he leans over to speak to Brian.

"**So Brain, what have you been up to?**

"**Oh, I'm a photographer." **

"**Wow, that's interesting. I thought you would have done something more…"**

Rayanne is the first to get tired of watching and decides to speak.

"**Yo, Catalano!!!! I'm surprised to see you here."**

"**Hey Graff, always nice to see you too."**

"**Why are you here?"**

"**What do you mean?"**

"**Well, you and Shane are not the reunion type of guys."**

"**Well, Graff. I would say the same thing about you!!!"**

"**I came to see Angela and my friends. So, I ask again, what are you doing here?"**

Everyone's eyes are placed on Jordan. They are all awaiting his response. Jordan turns to face Angela. He looks terrified.

"**Rayanne, I invited him…that's why he's here."**

Jordan smiles at Angela with great relief.

Throughout dinner, Angela's attention is split between Brian and Jordan. They seem to be fighting for her attention.

Angela's phone rings. She looks into her purse to see it's Adam. She looks over to Jordan and then Brian.

"**I'll be right back."**

She walks outside before she answers.

"**Hey"**

"**Hey, I'm so happy you called."**

"**So, how's it going? Is it everything you expected?"**

"**No…it's so weird. It's like I stepped into the twilight zone."**

"**Why? What happened?"**

"**So everyone read my book!! And Jordan Catalano is here. Not just that but Brian Krakow is not dorky anymore. And it seems like they are both fighting for my attention or something. If you didn't call I would have been suffocated by them."**

"**Okay so let me get this straight. The Jordan Catalano wants you and a not so dorky Brian wants you. I'm sorry, but I don't see a problem here."**

"**Are you kidding me????"**

"**Angela…I have known you for ten years and in every relationship that you have been in you have compared them to both Jordan and Brian."**

"**What??!!!That is such a lie."**

"**How many times have I heard you say 'He's not as smart as Brian' or 'He's not as gorgeous as Jordan'? More times then I can count!!!! I know that deep in side you have feelings for Jordan and even deeper inside you have feelings for Brian. Now you know that they both feel the same. Now you can know what it'll be like."**

"**What do you mean?"**

"**Maybe it'll be nice to have some closure."**

"**Life isn't about closure."**

"**Well, yeah, but maybe it can be."**

"**Okay, I should go back inside."**

"**Yeah, call me later."**

"**Of course."**

After Angela hung up, she stayed outside for a while.

_Is Adam right? Do Jordan and Brian both want me? Maybe they are just being nice. Maybe they just want to prove something._

Foot steps come from behind.

"**Angela, is everything okay."**

"**Oh, hey Brian. Everything is fine! I was just talking to a friend."**

"**Oh…so you invited Jordan Catalano."**

**They both look into the restaurant where Jordan in watching them. **

"**Yeah! I saw him at a coffee place and we talked."**

"**Oh!! He seems….different…but the same. Does that make any sense?"**

"**I know exactly what you mean!"**

"**I was thinking maybe we can get together tomorrow and have lunch, just the two of us."**

"**Um…that seems good."**

"**Really?"**

"**Yes, Brian. Is that so surprising?"**

"**Kinda…you never liked doing things with me in high school."**

They both laugh as Brian steps closer to Angela.

"**That's not true Brian…well, you're different now…less annoying!!" **

_What is going on? Are Brian and I flirting?"_

"**That's my goal in life…to be less** **annoying."**

Back at the table Jordan looks visibly angry. Shane notices his friend's attitude.

"**Jordan, I know I haven't always been all for you and Angela, but if you want that to happen you better go do something because it looks like that guy is about to take your girl."**

Jordan turns to see both Brain and Angela laughing. They are standing every close. He gets up and walks in their direction.

_Angela doesn't even like Brian. I have nothing to worry about. Right? I mean yeah they were friends back in high school and I always knew that he had a thing for her back them. But I had nothing to worry about back then and I have nothing to worry about now. Right? He may look different, but he's still the same Brain._

Angela and Brian both turn around as they sense Jordan behind them.

"**Hey"**

"**Hey"**

"**Hey"**

The look on Jordan's face makes him depart.

"**So, I should go back in."**

**They both watch him go back inside.**

"**So…Brain looks different."**

"**Brian"**

"**What?"**

"**You still call him Brain..its Brian."**

"**Whatever!"**

"**Anyways…he does look different. He looks good."**

Jordan smiles at her flirtatiously.

"**Does he look better than me?"**

Angela laughs.

"**No one can look better than you Jordan."**

_Okay...so now I'm flirting with Jordan. This doesn't seem so weird._

"**Oh…Angela you're making me blush."**

"**Good!!"**

"**So…I was thinking maybe we could go to dinner tomorrow…just the two of us. If you want?"**

"**Yeah…definitely!!!" **

At the end of the night everyone is saying their good byes.

"**So Angela, Catalano and Krakow seem like they're going to kill each other over you."**

"**Shut up Rayanne. We're all just friends."**

"**Right, whatever gets you through the night. Call me and tell me how it goes."**

"**How what goes?"**

"**Your dates."**

Patty, Jordan, Angela, and Brian are the last ones to leave.

"**Angela, we better go home!!!"**

"**Yeah mom, I'll be right there."**

Brian walks over towards Angela and gives her a hug.

"**I'll see you tomorrow, Chase. I'll pick you** **up at one."**

"**Can't wait!!!"**

Jordan gives Angela an even bigger hug.

"**And I'll pick you up at seven, Angela."**

"**Can't wait neither." **

Angela gives them both a week smile before she heads out to the car.

_What is going on??? Am I going on a date with both Jordan and Brian on the same day??_

Jordan and Brian are left alone once everyone left. Jordan begins to walk away towards the car where Shane is waiting.

"**Jordan!!!"**

"**Yeah!!!"**

"**Are you still in love with Angela?"**

"**What???"**

"**You heard me!!!!!"**

"**Um…."**

_I guess Brian has changed. He finally grew some guts!!!_

"**Well???"**

"**I think so. Are you?"**

"**I think so too. Is that why you came?"**

"**I came for the hope that she still feels something for me. What about you?"**

"**I came for the hope that she may look at me for once and see that I'm better for her."**

Jordan looks taken aback by Brian's comment. He becomes defensive.

"**What do you mean, better for her? You mean better than me?"**

_I'm going to kick is ass!!!!!_

"**Jordan…I used to be so intimidated by you. By the way you lived you life. By the way you made Angela feel. By the way you just were. But I'm not intimidated by you anymore because I realized that could make her happier than you can."**

"**Shut up Brian!!! You don't know what you are talking about."**

"**Yes, I do!!! The difference between me and you, well one of many, is that I would do anything for her. I would give up everything for her. That is something that you were never able to do and still aren't."**

"**You don't know me Brian…You still that same know it all you were in high school!!! You think you know everything about me…about Angela but you don't. Maybe back then I was that person you described, but I'm not that person anymore."**

"**People don't really change and if you believe that you are still a moron."**

"**Well, if that's true, I feel bad for you."**

"**What!!!"**

"**Angela hated you in high school, the only reason she's paying any attention to you now is because she thinks you've changed."**

Brian does not know how to respond. Jordan begins to walk away with a small smirk on Jordan's face. He knows that for once he has out smarted Brian.

Okay so what do you think of the new format??? I don't know if I like it or not!!! RR


	8. Chapter 9: Date with Brian

Italics thoughts

It's exactly one in the afternoon. The trip from Brian's house to Angela's wasn't a far one but to Brian it felt like it took him a really long time to get there. He nervously stands in front of Angela's front door. For some reason he finds it hard to ring the door bell, even though he may act more confident on the outside in the inside he is still that same tense awkward boy he was in high school. He takes a deep breath and pushes all those familiar anxious feelings down. He finally rings the door bell.

Angela is in her bedroom. She looks out her window and sees Brian walking towards her house. A big smile comes over her face as she notices how attractive he looks from afar. Jordan takes your breath away when he is right in front of you, with his intense features. But Brian was different from Jordan, the subtle, some what ordinary, features he posses are appreciated better from a distance. She notices that he is just standing in front of her house not doing anything.

"**What is he doing? Just ring the bell Brian, it's not hard, you've done it a thousands time before."**

When he finally rings the bell, she runs down stairs and smiles.

_Finally!!!!!!!!!!!_

As she runs out of her room she can't resist taking a final look at the picture of her and Jordan. Her heart hurts a little but she doesn't know why.

Angle pushes the strange feeling away as she greets Brian with a smile.

"**Hi, Brian. Nice to know you can ring a bell."**

"**What…"**

"**Nothing…never mind. You ready to go."**

"**Yeah, lets go."**

They quietly walk to Brian's parent's car. He opens the door for her and to steps in without saying thank you.

Angela sits silently as he begins to drive to the fancy French restaurant he has chosen for lunch.

_Why do I feel so strange? Last night I was able to talk to him better than ever before. It was like some how things changed between us. Before I could barely stand being around him, but last night I wanted to be with Brian. But today, I don't feel comfortable with him. Maybe it's because we're alone and there is too much pressure to talk to him. Maybe the only reason I wanted to talk to him last night was because I was sad, thinking that Jordan was going to let me down again and not come made me feel undesirable. And Brian has a way of making me feel wanted. But that's wrong, right? To only want to be around him when I need to feel desired. That's like using him, right?_

"**Angela!! We're here."**

"**Oh…that was fast."**

The valet opens Angela's door and smiles at her flirty. Brian walks over to be close to her as they enter the elaborate establishment. Every intimate table is crowed with oversized vases and flowers. The gold and white accents around the room are meant to give the impression of luxury and royalty but in Angela's eyes it looks too exaggerate for a casual lunch. There are chandeliers clouding the ceiling. Though it is day time, the place seemed to be lit only by candlelight. A place that may be considered romantic to some was considered overdone to Angela.

_This place is too much. It makes me feel suffocated. It like insists upon itself._

"**Angela, is everything okay?"**

"**Um…Yeah. Everything is fine. Why?"**

"**I don't know you seem different. You haven't really spoken and that's not like you."**

"**I was just taking everything in."**

"**Oh."**

"**I'm sorry, I'll start to talk more."**

"**You don't have to if you don't want to."**

"**God, Brian. Make up you mind. Do you want me to talk of not!!!"**

_God Brian can be so irritating._

She looks at him and notices his face fall a little. Like if she doesn't say anything to make him feel better his face will melt to the floor.

"**I'm sorry Brian. I didn't mean it. I have just had a lot of things on my mind the past couple days. You know, being back home after such a long time. Seeing everyone again. Having all this old feelings. It can be kinda exhausting." **

"**I know what you mean. Don't worry about it I know I have always pushed you buttons."**

"**Yeah!! You always have. I think you do it on purpose."**

They both laugh. The waiter comes by to take their order. From afar, they both look more at ease. They sit for a while and talk about their separate lives. Until Brian finally gets the guts to ask her the question that he has had for twelve years.

"**Angela. Can I ask you something?"**

"**Go for it!!"**

"**Why?"**

"**Why what?"**

"**Why did you always pick him over me?"**

"**Him?"**

"**You know who I mean…Jordan."**

"**Um…"**

"**I mean even after the letter and also the second time."**

"**The second time…"**

_I had forgotten about the second time…_

**------------------------------Flashback------------------------------------------------------------**

It was the summer before their senior year. Jordan, Angela, and Brian were all working in Graham's restaurant. Another employee was a tall blonde; she was a freshman at a local community college. She was not every intelligent, but when it came to boys she wanted she could outsmart any girl that got in her way. And she had her empty blue eyes on Jordan Catalano.From the moment they started working there she had used all her feminine wilds to get with Jordan. Angela noticed it but tried to find her jealousy. Because she knew that Jordan hated it when she overreacted to the thousands of girls that flirted with him. He would look at her with hurt eyes every time and say, " Don't you trust me Angela? After all this time." And the truth was that Angela hated when he asked he that question because the answer was no. She didn't trust him, but then there were few people she trusted anymore. After her sophomore year she realized that there weren't many people she could trust in the world. The only person that hadn't betrayed her so far was Ricky. But she didn't want to say that out loud because saying it loud made it too real and that was too scary.

But then one night, she went to the storage room to look for more napkins. As she entered the cold basement she saw Jordan and the dizzy blonde kissing. Angela didn't know what to do. She wanted to run in the opposite direction and fight at the same time. Part of her wanted to go over there and slap both of them and tell them exactly what she felt about them. But her other part wanted to run forever and forget that Jordan and the blonde were ever in her life. Instead she just stood there experiencing an inner struggle within her. Next thing she knows Brian is next to her.

"**Chase, What's wrong? You look like you just seen a ghost."**

Angela didn't answer she just keep on staring at the two kissing bodies in the far corner. Brian notices where Angela is staring and follows them.

"**Oh…is that Jordan and…"**

"**Yeah…"**

"**I'm sorry Chase."**

"**Yeah, me too."**

Angela begins to back away from the room. She unconsciously grabs on to Brian's hand for support as he guides her out of the basement. They don't speak for a while. They just stare in silence. Brian wonders why Angela is not crying or shouting, it's not like her to act so emotionless.

"**Angela…"**

"**Brian I don't want to talk."**

Angela feels empty in the inside. It's like her anger and sadness has disappeared, and they are replaced with nothingness. Like the idea of not having Jordan means that she will loss an important part of herself.

"**How could he do that?"**

"**I don't know."**

"**How can someone tell you he's in love with you and then a few days later make out with a stupid blonde?"**

"**I don't know."**

"**I guess it was stupid of me to believe that Jordan Catalano could be in love with me…that anyone could be in love with me for that matter."**

"**Angela…You're not stupid."**

"**Yes, yes I am. How can anyone love me?"**

"**Angela, how can anyone not be in love with you? You are perfect. Even your imperfections are perfect. The way you tuck your hair when you're nervous. The way your whole face glows when you smile. The way you can make a person think with all your innocent comments. Those are just a few of your traits that makes it easy for anyone to be in love with you…for me to be in love with you."**

"**Brian…"**

"**Angela, I AM MADLY IN LOVE WITH YOU!!"**

"**Brian…I…"**

Jordan pulls away from the blonde. He forcefully pushes her away.

"**What was that?"**

"**I was only giving you what you want and need, baby."**

"**I don't want that or need that, not from you."**

"**Yeah right. Be honest that little girlfriend of yours can't give you what I can."**

"**Angela, can give me much more."**

"**Right!!!! That little girl has virgin written all over her face. You need a real women Jordan, you need me."**

She begins to get closer to him, but he walks away quietly.

"**NO!!! I need her, I want her, I'm in love with her!!!!"**

She notices the honest in his face and his voice. For the first time in her life she realizes that there is someone she can't have, someone that doesn't want her, someone that wants someone else. The realization is soon transformed into anger and bitterness.

"**Well, she won't want you anymore!!!"**

"**What..."**

"**She saw us and she left with that other little boy that is in love with her."**

"**WHAT!?!!?! She saw!!!??? And she left with who????"**

"**Yes, she left with Brian. And the way he was looking at her a bet he is about to make his move now that she hates you"**

Jordan runs out of the room in search for Angela.

"**Brian…I…I…don't know what to say…I"**

From behind Jordan places his hand on Angela's shoulder. Angela and Brian both quietly glare at him with hatred.

"**Angela, Can we talk…alone?"**

"**NO!!! I don't want to talk to you!!!"**

"**Let me explain."**

"**Let you explain. Explain what, how you hurt and betrayed me…AGAIN."**

"**Angela, she kissed me. I didn't want her. She kissed me and I pulled away."**

"**You must think I'm such a fool!!! I was there I saw and I didn't see you pull away."**

"**But Angela I did. You just didn't stay long enough to see it. I love you Angela."**

"**What!!!! Don't give me that I love you lies. If you loved me I wouldn't have to have waited for you to pull away you would have done it the slit second you felt her lips on yours. That's part of love not wanting to feel anyone's lips but the one you love. That's how I feel for you."**

"**I was surprised. It took me awhile to realize what was happening. She asked me to help her get something for the top self, the next thing I know I turn around and she's kissing me…"**

"**STOP!! I don't want to hear it, it makes me nauseous."**

"**You have to believe me!!!I would never do anything to make you stop loving me. I know that you don't trust me very much and that hurts but I know it's my fault. But I need you to trust me when I say I love you."**

"**You're right…I don't trust you. And I wish I could say I didn't love you…But I can't. Even after everything you have done…with Rayanne and now this I still love you. And that drives me insane…But I do trust you when you say you love me and that drives me more insane!!!**

Jordan steps closer to Angela and embraces her. They share a passionate kiss. Brian stands in the sidelines watching them. He suffers silently. With ever kiss and caress he witnesses his heart breaks even more.

---------------------------------FlashBack Ends---------------------------------------------

"**Angela are you listening to me?"**

"**Oh…yeah…"**

"**So, you didn't answer my question. Why do you always choose him over me?"**

"**I…don't…know…"**

"**Yes you do!!!!"**

"**It's hard to explain…My brain has always known that I should be with someone like you. Someone that is sweet, smart, and caring. Someone that really talks to me and understands. Someone that is reliable and faithful. Someone that is nothing like Jordan. But my heart…my heart starves for someone like Jordan Catalano. Someone that is a mystery and dangerous. Someone that makes my palms sweat and my heart beat faster. Someone that when I just think of being near ignites my entire body. And I guess there are two different types of people in this world, one that follows their brain and one that follows their heart. I have always followed my heart and ignored my brain.**

"**Do you ever think that you will follow you brain?"**

"**I truly don't know?"**


End file.
